The outlet mall experience.

Today I went to the outlet mall and got attacked by a female security guard zooming around on a segway. I think it was kind of karma since I was laughing to myself when I first saw her zooming around the parking lot. After she circled my car a few times and I went to get out, she zoomed right over to me. She said: "Are you an employee?" And as I was starting to say "No..." She said "Never mind, I see kids in the car! Sorry!" And zoomed away. It cracked me up for the rest of my shopping trip. All I could think about was the movie Mall Cop and I had never seen a security guard there before. But it is also weird that they are paying someone to drive around just to make sure employees are not parking in the lot.

Before that even happened, I thought I had made a mistake going to the outlet mall. 9.9 times out of 10 it is a mistake. The thing that tipped me off this time was the giant family of asian canadians that were walking blocking the entire road. ugh. I should make a list for these type of people for appropriate shopping behaviors at the outlet mall... It would go something like this:

1. In the parking lot, there are nice white lines. These are to label spots to park your car. Park in these and nowhere else that is not lined.

2. When walking in the parking lot, be aware of other large motor vehicles attempting to park, it is in your best interest to move to the side to allow them through.

3. When driving in the parking lot, be aware of the pedestrians (these are people) walking to and from their cars. Do not hit them.

4. Those signs that say no smoking near doors/entrances. Those are not jokes.

5. If you would like to stop and have a conversation, please step aside and allow all the other shoppers to pass by.

6. When inside a store, there is a usually a line to pay. Please be aware of this and stand in the appropriate line.

7. No, you cannot have a discount.

8. Please be aware of personal bubbles. If you are next to me or behind me, it is common courtesy to stand 1-2 steps back.

9. When shopping with your entire extended family, please make room for the other people that would like to shop.

10. Please teach your children all of these rules.

Thank you and keep spending your money here.